Empty

'I had only heard about you before,
but now I have seen you with my own eyes.
I take back everything I said,
and I sit in dust and ashes in repentance'

- Job 42:5-6

The whole time I read that passage, I just felt God whispering to me, 'Jim, Job was speaking about me without knowing what he was talking about. You've been doing the same thing.'

That kind of took me back - it's not as if I have been teaching heresies to my students. What God pointed out to me was much worse - I was teaching them about a God I really have not spent much time with in the past few weeks. Things have felt so...robotic. Like I have been running on autopilot. Wednesday night, Sunday School, the small groups...running on pure Jim and really no God, although God is working in spite of me. I want to get back to where I was with God...so, so close. Striving to find him. Hearing from Him often. Knowing which steps to take. I miss that so much. I feel so empty.


'He is the one who can tell us the reason for our existence, our place in the scheme of things, our real identity. It is an identity we can't discover for ourselves, that others can't discover in us - the mystery of who we really are....it is a secret He will tell us slowly and sweetly, when we are willing to spend time with Him; time with Him who is beyond all time.'

- Emilie Griffin